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Emotional intelligence

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand and manage one’s emotions; the ability to identify, understand and influence others’ emotions [not the ability to manage others’ emotions]. A values-neutral concept; emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is neither good nor bad—it is just a set of abilities, emotions and beliefs which tend to lead to characteristic behaviours.  Now read on…

  • Emotional intelligence

Attitude

Attitude is not a negative word. It’s true you can have a bad attitude towards something; but equally you can have a good attitude towards something, for example business

What is a «facilitating environment»?

Some time ago, I was running a workshop about leadership for charity bosses. During the conversation, one of the participants told us about the time when her charity lost a

The key quotations

Of all the quotations in my collection—over a thousand—these seem to epitomise emotional intelligence at work more than most.

The Parent-Adult-Child model: the basics

the psychologist Eric Berne developed the idea that people can switch between different states of mind—sometimes in the same conversation and certainly in different parts of

A short piece about anger

We get angry—for example, if a stranger attacks my child—and it is a visceral, instinctive response. If I am still angry about the situation two hours later, or two years

A short piece about being assertive

Being assertive means respecting yourself and other people; seeing people as equal to you, not better than you or less important than you. The goal of assertive behaviour is

On love

... thirteen quotations

A short piece about being the change you want to see in the world

Attributed to Gandhi, Be the change you want to see in the world encapsulates the idea of responsibility. If, as a leader, we see that something is needed in our business or

Building rapport—1

Rapport is the ability to relate to others in a positive and constructive way which emphasises the humanity and ‘otherness’ of other people.

A short piece about fear

In 1987, Susan Jeffers published her book, Feel the fear and do it anyway. Such a good title. Indeed, such a good title that you don’t really need to read the book: it is

A short piece about emotional intelligence

IQ, or ‘conventional’ intelligence, is too narrow a concept with which to understand how and why people can be successful. It ignores essential personality, character,

A short piece about making the other person more important than you

This means : Think and feel about other people, behave towards other people as if they were more important than you.

Why you can’t teach soft skills

You can’t teach “soft skills” because they aren’t skills, and the only things you can teach are skills.

How to transform a relationship in twenty minutes

The client of a colleague reported difficulty being a parent to his middle child. The child was clearly unhappy. The father was unhappy because he did not know what to do

Stages of personal development—1 The basics

The emotional intelligence at work model is complex. Let’s start with the basic, underlying principles.

What does it all mean?

People are forever asking "what do you mean by...?" The following glossary is what we mean by key words.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) was popularised by Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional intelligence. In it, Goleman cites five domains of EI...

Thinker, feeler, knower, sensor ?

In 1928, Carl Jung identified that people receive and process information in four ways: thinking, feeling, intuition and sensing (in a kinaesthetic sense)

What emotional intelligence is not

EI is values-neutral and it isn’t about controlling others’ emotions.

Stages of a work relationship—introduction

‘Businesses are just people’. Of course, this isn't to belittle people...

Emotional intelligence thought

Here are some articles by other people on emotional intelligence.

Stages of a work relationship—4 and 5

Relationships go through a number of stages, of which partnership and leadership are the fourth and fifth.

Stages of a work relationship—3

Relationships go through a number of stages, of which the third, dead zone, is covered here.

Stages of a work relationship—1 and 2

Relationships go through a number of stages, the first two of which are honeymoon and power struggle.

Books worth reading

Here are some recommended books on emotional intelligence, and related to EI in the workplace

Possibly frequently asked questions

What is emotional intelligence, compared with “regular” intelligence? Why are merely technical skills not enough to succeed?

Emotional intelligence videos

Thought provoking videos about emotional intelligence.

Influencing others

To help us understand how to be more influential it’s useful to understand what generates our and others’ behaviour.

Why emotional intelligence is important in the workplace

There is only one area which a business—or any organisation—needs to address if it wants to lift itself from averagely successful to excellent:

Emotions are important at work

In this video, Jeremy Marchant outlines the reason for considering one's emotions at work

What is emotional intelligence?

In this video, Jeremy Marchant argues that emotional intelligence is about understanding that our behaviour is driven by our emotions and our beliefs.

Emotional intelligence in the workplace

In this video, Jeremy Marchant discusses how emotional intelligence is about understanding that our behaviour is driven by our emotions and our beliefs.

Golfing for beginners

If you want to get a golfball into a hole, which do you focus on? The ball or the hole?

Further reading

  • A few fireworksA few fireworks
  • Land successfullyLand successfully
  • Golfing for beginnersGolfing for beginners
  • Why being in control is not always a good ideaWhy being in control is not always a good idea
  • A short piece about nature versus nurtureA short piece about nature versus nurture
  • A story about storiesA story about stories
  • Jeremy Marchant videosJeremy Marchant videos
  • On politics and politiciansOn politics and politicians
  • Wot?  No football…Wot? No football…
  • On loveOn love