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Conflict resolution

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As the old saying goes, “When the sea is calm, everyone is a great sailor.  It is only when the storms come that real leadership counts”.  So it is with people working together.  It is only when conflict arises that real management and leadership qualities are needed.

  • Conflict resolution
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The Parent-Adult-Child model: the basics

the psychologist Eric Berne developed the idea that people can switch between different states of mind—sometimes in the same conversation and certainly in different parts of
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Perception is projection

Perception and projection are two psychological processes. They are values-neutral, neither good nor bad in themselves. We repress stuff in our minds which we find hard to
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Setting the right intention

Accept 100% responsibility for your outcomes and accept that there’s another person in the discussion with their own set of needs, wants, desires and outcomes
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Resistance

To handle resistance to your ideas and influence during negotiation, you will first need to know why there is an objection. Typically, people object or resist because they:
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Building rapport—1

Rapport is the ability to relate to others in a positive and constructive way which emphasises the humanity and ‘otherness’ of other people.
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Chunking up and down

‘Chunking up’ refers to moving from specific, or small scale ideas or pieces of information to more general, larger ones. ‘Chunking down’ (obviously) means going the other
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Saying ‘no’: 13 tips

Sometimes you have to be able to say 'no' and not leave yourself open to influence or manipulation. When we just take on everything thrown at us, our bosses and colleagues
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Noticing body language: 14 tips

Humans are the only animals to communicate using words. The rest of the animal kingdom manages very well with non-verbal signals. Your body language releases lots of subtle
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Metaprograms

Metaprograms are ways in which people choose to approach life and their relationships with other people
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A short piece about disputes

The problem with disputes in relationships is that they are never about what the people in dispute think the dispute is about.
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How to transform a relationship in twenty minutes

The client of a colleague reported difficulty being a parent to his middle child. The child was clearly unhappy. The father was unhappy because he did not know what to do
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The best way to make decisions

Note, this article is not called “the way to make the best decisions”. However, the best method of decision making goes as follows.
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Dispute resolution

If two people are in a dispute, the problem is never the thing the dispute is about, the problem is that they are having a dispute. Disputes are just a particular type of conflict.
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Being right

Being right can be a big problem for people in charge—and indeed for people whose quality of service relies on their capacity to give good advice: accountants, financial
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Thinker, feeler, knower, sensor ?

In 1928, Carl Jung identified that people receive and process information in four ways: thinking, feeling, intuition and sensing (in a kinaesthetic sense)
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Thirty tips for handling stress

Emotionally intelligent techniques: reactive (in and after specific stressful situation), be assertive, reframe : look for what you can appreciate in yourself
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Stages of a work relationship—introduction

‘Businesses are just people’. Of course, this isn't to belittle people...
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Stages of a work relationship—4 and 5

Relationships go through a number of stages, of which partnership and leadership are the fourth and fifth.
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Stages of a work relationship—3

Relationships go through a number of stages, of which the third, dead zone, is covered here.
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Stages of a work relationship—1 and 2

Relationships go through a number of stages, the first two of which are honeymoon and power struggle.
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Email blizzard

One of Dave's clients had accepted some work without criticism but, sixty days later, still hadn’t paid up. Dave was getting irritated...

Further reading

  • A century not outA century not out
  • Why IT projects overrun…Why IT projects overrun…
  • A short piece about what managers who are leaders doA short piece about what managers who are leaders do
  • Ahead of the beatAhead of the beat
  • Pumpkins and applesPumpkins and apples
  • Look behind youLook behind you
  • Easter bunniesEaster bunnies
  • Falling off the business life cycle?Falling off the business life cycle?
  • Stretch—don’t stressStretch—don’t stress
  • emotional intelligence at work on holidayemotional intelligence at work on holiday